What I think Facebook does well...

Lately when I get on Facebook, I’ve encountered articles that carry the tone of “Why I Hate Facebook… and other rants”. Okay, that wasn’t the title of the article(s), but you catch my drift. The authors maintain that we’re broken into types, that we’re all guilty of bragging, and that Facebook gives a false impression of our daily life or just the best versions of ourselves. I have a friend who maintains that Facebook is designed to make you sad. All of the parties you aren’t attending, the weddings you weren’t invited to, and the friends that you no longer keep in touch with can all be boiled down to a newsfeed.

Interesting.

Don’t get me wrong; there have been many times where I have practiced my break up speech with Facebook. “It’s totally you and not me.” “We obviously want different things out of this.” “You’ve changed since 2004.”… But really, just like any bad romance, if I choose to stay, I really have no one to blame but myself. So, like many people, I just cringe in silence when I see memes about Walmart or celebrity fodder, because this is the “price of admission” to stay on an (ironically) free social media site.

But for all of the things that Facebook does not do well (and I’m sure you have counted them on your fingers and toes), there actually are some things that I do enjoy about it, and if I’m being perfectly honest with myself, many things that I enjoy sharing with people in my social network.

So here’s what I think Facebook does well:

1.)  Facebook actually does allow me to be proud/happy/excited for people I know who are doing well. For every person you know who treats Facebook like his or her diary and is constantly complaining there are ten people who are excited about something today.

I know we’re adults, and maybe shouldn’t need affirmation on such a grand level, but when I see that someone has gotten married, had a baby when they never thought they would be able to, passed the bar exam, or took an amazing trip that they worked their whole life to take, my initial reaction is, “HELL YES. Absolutely. Take your happiness and run with it.” Because network friends, this life is long, and besides the joy that you are experiencing in your life (and I am well aware you need no validation) I hope you know that there are people rooting for you, even if you don’t know or need it. And I for one wish you well upon your journey.

2.)  Facebook reminds me every now and then that I know some smart people… really, really smart people. Okay, I hate the memes about Walmart as much as the next person, and honestly, I could do without a poignant take on Taylor Swift’s song lyrics, but filtered through all of that, there are some really bright people that I have met in this life. Some of these people are professional writers, comedy teams, producers, doctors, musicians, and just all around interesting people, and I actually know them. How did I get so lucky? When I read about their latest projects (that they choose to share on social media), I am blown away by the ideas and insight that they are putting into the world. These people teach me plenty when I take the time to notice their creativity and appreciate their stamina for the rejection and beat down that life can offer at times… they’re inspiring. Whether they know it or not really isn’t the point; the point is that they are putting themselves out there and taking a risk. The success of it all is not for me or anyone else to measure.

3.)  Facebook illustrates that some people have really changed for the better. I’m not just talking about on the outside, although some of you have really blossomed into lovely adults. That person that we weren’t sure would graduate college and spent most of 2005 on a video game in the sweatpants, or the really pompous jerk who became humbled later in life, well, they grew into decent people. And change looks different for everyone. Some people made subtle shifts, and some hit rock bottom before they got their life together. Again, it doesn’t really matter than I notice it, or that anyone else does, but since I have, I rather enjoy rooting for these people now. I enjoy success stories and I realize that they come in many different packages.

I know that people can make their lives much more interesting on Facebook than in reality. I know that maybe it isn’t necessary to see ALL 108 pictures of your trip to Vegas this year (anywhere but Vegas, please, I beg you). I also know that it creates a really false sense of knowing people you really do not know. (Shameful plug: You should know that Facebook has taught me how to be a one-lined comedian and I can assure you that I am not nearly as funny in real life.)…

But for the people I spent twelve years in primary and secondary education with, for the people I lived with in college, stood in your weddings, met your children, and have sat at a table with, I tell you with absolute certainty that I do actually celebrate your victories and success, filtered through the clips of Toddlers and Tiaras and random invitations to parties 1800 miles away.

And if ever you or I reach our threshold for negativity, judgment, or jealousy; if you or I ever decide that we are no longer sifting through our newsfeed to celebrate our friends’ success, we need only to remember that at any time we can in fact, turn it off. 

To all my seniors...

To all my seniors:

To all of you beautiful weirdos, I hope that you had a fantastic first day of your senior year. I hope that you helped someone who needed it, rekindled friendships with people you hadn’t seen all summer, and got a little geeky over school supplies (yes, I know that last one probably did not happen, but I can dream.).

I hope you all know how special it was to teach all of you your freshman year. You were my first class of freshman, and you are all so dear to me. You came into my class scared to death (a record I hold no small amount of pride for being able to accomplish), and stepped out of my class (never too far away from stopping in to say hello) a little more knowledgeable and polished than you came before. This was a team effort. I watched some of you really struggle, but you made it… and now you’re seniors. If I were still your teacher, I’d try to teach you small lessons as we went through your last year, but since that is not the case, I wanted to make sure you knew a few things that will help you make it through your last year in secondary education:

1.)  You absolutely do not know everything; stop strutting already. I know you. I know EXACTLY how you walked around those halls today, and you need to just cut it out. Be on time, be respectful of other people’s time… because you will absolutely never be able to predict when you are going to need someone’s help, and you want to make sure you’ve given a little help to others in the process.

2.)  Work together. I said “work” not “cheat”; you know how I feel about cheating. Help each other out. The same kids I saw working together to make sure their friends passed their AP classes late into the night at Whataburger are the same people you are now. Except you can drive… and that terrifies me.

3.)  Be nicer than you have to be. I’m telling you, and hear me now and believe me later, repairing things later is hard work. It’s much easier to do it right the first time. Be nicer than you should be, and people will ever so grateful.

4.)  Avoid being lazy. I know it’s tough, and you’re going to want to coast, but you will have full on panic attacks (I see it every year) because you assume someone is going to figure it out for you. No. No one is going to figure out for you whether you signed up for your SAT, applied to college, sent in the check for graduation fees, or remembered to take health so that you can graduate. (You still need health to graduate, right? I don’t even want to think about your concept of public health and hygiene.)

5.)  I said stop strutting, but you should absolutely be a leader. Humility is a hard lesson, and most of us learn it MANY times over. Be a humble leader by helping those who do not ask for it when they need it most and (here’s the hard part), TAKE NO CREDIT FOR IT. That’s tough, because we all want people to know our goodness, but that’s not the point of doing good. Remember that.

6.)  Read a book of your own choice. Let me just say that you will not have to know the 200 literary terms I taught you to make it in life. That’s just, like, a fact. You will however, find that there are a lot of people your age reading all over the country for pleasure. You won’t feel the backlash of it five years after college, but you will the NEXT five years after college. If you travel to New York, be careful; everyone on the east coast is a book snob because they all read on trains…even the teenagers.

So pick up a book and learn something and remember that there are so, so many kids (in this country, no less) that would kill or die for a library. I know some of them. You have a beautiful library and Mrs. Vyoral is just waiting for you to ask for her help. So take advantage of that resource and make yourself a little smarter than you have to be. You’ll be so glad you did.

7.)  Remember the little people. At the end of this year, you get to honor some educators who changed your life for the better. You did not teach yourself to read. You did not learn Algebra II on your own. Your handwriting is questionable, so that might be the only thing I’d believe that you taught yourself.

Say thank you and say it often. You don’t get to honor every teacher, but you can say thank you to most of them. Go visit your kindergarten teacher this year when you get out for early dismissal. Walk over to the middle school and say hi to a coach that taught you integrity and commitment. Stop in to say hello to your freshman World Geography teacher. Most importantly, remember that it isn’t just your teachers you have to thank for who you became at school; you have a plethora of people who work hard to make school run for you (as much as you might hate it from time to time). They are your custodians, your cafeteria workers, your campus police, and your administrators. They get very little thanks, and they absolutely deserve it.

8.) Be interesting. I know that it’s cool to shop at all the same places, and listen to all the same stuff… but please, please do not be afraid to be interesting. That does not mean you have to throw out your new clothes or “only download indie bands”. (Gross. Newsflash: that isn’t interesting; it’s predictable. It makes you just as boring as everyone else who is a slave to their wardrobe and money.) Interesting means thinking outside the box. Ask questions. Read MULTIPLE articles on something you find interesting and ask yourself why you believe/agree with something. Watch a TED talks or listen to a great podcast every now and then. Try new food that sounds questionable. Ask people their opinions about real things and then really listen. Digest ideas and then create some of your own. Those are the interesting people, the ones who aren’t afraid to be different.

Above all, show integrity, and remember: Those who make excuses are rarely excused.

I love you, I love you, I love you. Have a fantastic year and make me so proud. J