Note to the reader:
The following information is written merely to resonate with a general feeling.
The list I am about to include is not exhaustive. Read it. Learn it. Adapt your
own. If we are friends, please attach an electronic signature to this contract.
Songs That We Are
Never Under Any Circumstance Allowed to Leave While in Rotation:
I just want to preface that I have been known to trek in
snowstorms, rainstorms, hailstorms, non-storms (when a major weather alert
takes us to a false sense of hope for potential school closures the following
day), heat, below freezing temperatures and illnesses to make it to your
parties/ a bar/ a hangout.
And while that doesn’t mean I’m going to be getting any
medals (medals are encouraged), please know that if we are out and suddenly the
wind gets taken out of your sails and you make an executive order on behalf of
the group that we “have to get out of here right now”, I will always support
that choice…UNLESS one of the following songs is playing:
“Superstition” by
Stevie Wonder:
Why would anyone leave during this song? It’s totally bad
juju to leave during this song… for obvious reasons. Also, in college, this was
a constant song put into rotation at Piano Bar and I just can’t deal with
people leaving during Stevie. I have this interpretive dance that comes out
when this song comes on, and I don’t want to brag, but many friends have done
well because I have taken one for the team to look like the weird friend while
Stevie and I take it home.
*The dance looks like a lot of shoulder rolling my hands
motioning a spell-like gesture. Kind of the way Stevie Nicks dances, but
without the terrifying aspect.
“No Scrubs” by TLC
I find that it usually scares strangers when you point to
them every time the ladies sing “No.” Direct eye contact is key, as well. And
no, this blog is not all about my gnarly dance moves scaring/scarring
strangers…entirely.
Doo Wop (That Thing)
by Lauren Hill
She is my favorite female rapper of all time and we are not
leaving her behind. If this song comes on and I just put my coat on, you can be
sure that the coat is coming off as fast as possible. “Don’t be a hard rock
when you really are a gem” is my way of telling you to pipe down and get
another drink.
“Africa” by Toto
I know all of the words to this song. I know all of the
harmonies. The HARMONIES, people. You can’t leave me if this song comes on,
because even though it’s not the jammiest of jams, it makes me so, so happy
every time it comes on…anywhere. I have been known to let people go in front of
me at drugstores just so that I can hear the end of this song. Also, if you
want to see me spaz out at any party you ever throw, just play this. I will
(almost… haha that’s a lie. It’s every time.) shove people out of the way to
get closer to the speakers.
“Ain’t Nobody” by
Chaka Khan
Want to see a bunch of 30-something women and very close
male friends get around in a circle and authoritatively sing/ dance at the same
time? Look no further!
“Hip Hop Hurray” by
Naughty by Nature
And if you don’t wave your arms, I’ll drag you dooooown to
my level so fast. Mostly by dancing all around you until you give in to me…
cause I’m naughty by nature, not cause I hatecha.
“Let’s Stay Together”
by Al Green… and really anything Motown:
There is a bar in Williamsburg that serves the WORST drinks
ever, but they have Christmas lights year round and they play Motown, which
makes me want to offer free hugs and watered down beverages for everyone in the
joint. The absolute second I hear “My
Girl” I have committed to the entire evening at this place. And truly, I
would sacrifice amazing beverages for Motown.
“Rock with You” by
Michael Jackson
There are so many Michael Jackson songs that constitute
hearing out until the end, but this one gets me out of my chair and I don’t
think I ever get tired of it. I also sing it whenever I’m in a good mood, so if
you try to take me out of the joint when this is playing, we’re parting ways..
for the night and in life. Because you really have no soul,…and I really mean
that.
Other jams that I will drop you for:
"Night and Day" by Ray Charles
"Everything She Wants" by Wham!
"Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates
"Scenario" by A Tribe Called Quest
Anything by Phil Collins or Genesis (no loop holes, people)
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